blogging musings

This post is brought to you by Saturday night musings, when it's 11pm and you can't sleep, blogging is always a good idea. Maybe. 

Last Wednesday I watched Christopher Wiegand's film American Blogger. I was actually very excited to watch it and was not at all disappointed. I thought it was beautiful. I really adored every minute of it.

There were a lot of reasons I loved it; the gorgeous filmography, the women and their stories, and all of the thoughts it provoked in me. I started thinking about how I would have answered each of Chris' questions. What is a blog? Why do I blog?  I have always been a big journal writer, since I was a child, but those were just for me. I never imaged putting my life out into the world, mostly because it seemed overly ordinary. I started blogging a few years ago while hubs and I were trying to conceive our first baby. One year passed and writing in my journal seemed to not be fulfilling anymore. I joined a fertility forum after a few short months of trying because I just knew that something wasn't right. It should have happened by then. The support, information and love I found on that forum was overwhelming but wonderful. I started a blog about my side of the infertility journey and never told anyone I knew about it. It still sits somewhere, I haven't been back in a long time. 

During the second year of trying, I became less quiet about the whole thing. If you know me personally, you know that I am not a secretive person by nature. Unless it's not my secret, then my lips are sealed. I grew up in a household with 2 sisters and an Italian mother and father, and a very close-knit family who were very open and loud about pretty much everything. If someone asks me a question, I will tell you the truth, whether it be ugly or not, I'm not much for sugar coating, unless I can eat it. I also tend to talk way too much when I am nervous or in uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations. Growing up I was bullied and even switched schools because I was always known as a nerd, who was extremely shy. Or on the flip side, people have thought I was a super bitch, because of my shyness. I instantly loved blogging. When I started this blog, I had just found out I was pregnant after two years and an IUI. I was so grateful for the pregnancy because I know of so many women and couples who have struggled far greater than we have. I always have said that my blog is my diary. I never intended to have anyone read it or have a following of people. I enjoyed reading others blogs, but it was and still is not really a part of my daily life.  I blog to remember moments in time. I blog to have a place to look back on someday, to see the things that we did, the clothes we wore and how Ellia looked on her second Easter. I blog to talk about the great opportunities I've been presented with and show off the fabulous products I have been so fortunate to get. I don't blog for money, or to get these things, although I am always incredibly happy when I do, it's not the reason. For now anyways. I love having my little place, a tiny fish in the big ocean, but I really don't care. 

This blog doesn't really have a theme. I'm not a fashion expert, although I do like playing dress up. I love art, crafting and DIY projects, but most idea's I have are executed during the night, when it's dark and not ideal for taking pictures. I'm not a cook or into fitness. I just love my family and styling photoshoots and parties.

I think another reason that I love blogging so much is because it involves photographs. It is no secret that I love photos, I love taking them and the meaning behind them. The fact that I can write a diary AND include photos is pretty much the best thing ever. I also am blown away by the connections I have made. The people I have met online and the support and friendships has been crazy amazing. I really do love meeting new people and find it so difficult in everyday life. I don't have a whole lot of real life friends that I see frequently, but I feel so full with being able to see and read about the lives of my online friends. Most of my "real life" friends don't understand the whole blogging thing because they don't do it. I'm sure a lot of them think I am crazy or weird, or both. But I am okay with that.

I don't tend to talk about the infertility stuff too much, and that's because I really am so lucky. I have one amazing, perfect little lady, and she makes it all okay. I know so many people aren't so lucky and it breaks my heart. We have been trying for number two for a year, come May. We are on this journey again and again, and it's just a part of life. I know Ellia will have a little brother or sister someday, I do have faith in that. 

If you've read this, thank you. I don't have a whole lot of extra time to make this blog something, or to spend hours reading others blogs, but I would like to. I feel like a bunch of you take the time to read my posts and I don't do the same for you. So here's the thing, if you're reading this, and you have a blog, leave me a comment with your blog address and let's be friends. Like I said, I enjoy making new friends.

xox nat